Quantcast
Channel: Student Review » Humor
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 10

Provo’s Finest: Police Beat

0
0
police beat 4 Provos Finest: Police Beat

Crime is alive and well in Provo

Suspicious Behavior

Feb. 5 University Police responded to reports of two men holding hands near the Wilkinson Student Center. They found that it was a heterosexual couple and the female had been mistaken for a male due to the shortness of her hipster hair style.

Feb. 14 Reports were made of uncontrollable sobs coming from under the stairs of the Joseph Smith Building. Upon arrival police found a distraught man whose girlfriend of three weeks had rejected his marriage proposal. The man was consoled and released.

Trespassing

Feb. 16 Suspicious figures were seen around the Franklin S. Harris Fine Arts Center. University police  found that the suspicious figures were in fact statues.

Disorderly Conduct

Jan. 28 Police stopped a freshman from Alaska outside the Wilkinson Center when he started turning blue. The student was wearing shorts, a U of U t-shirt and claimed that “5 degrees was sunbathing temperature”. The officer cited him for abundant pride and mischief.

Missing Person

Jan. 30 A student was reported missing by her classmates. At closing, custodians in the Jesse Knight Building found the student still looking for her class. A similar episode was reported by a male student in the Harris Fine Arts Center on Feb. 8. Police advise that students who have classes in those buildings take enough water and supplies to last 24 hours, as reports of lost students are frequent.

Theft

Feb. 4 A student reported a stolen backpack from the Cougareat that contained a Chem 105 textbook, iPod touch, wallet, laptop computer, keys to a 2003 Honda Civic, the title of a 2003 Honda Civic, keys to a house, deed to a house, directions to the legendary treasure of El Dorado and the original Declaration of Independence. The student suspects Nicholas Cage.

Feb. 9 Police received a call from a male student reporting his girlfriend as stolen. Upon further investigation it was found that the girlfriend consented to leave.

Feb. 18 A student reported that the 116 pages were ripped out of his Book of Mormon. Officers called in a suspicious couple, Mr. and Mrs. Harris, for questioning. The pages have not yet been recovered.

Related Posts


Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 10

Latest Images

Trending Articles





Latest Images